There are an odd mix of thoughts that lead me
outdoors, but they muffle and drift with my first steps into white. How is it
so bright this late?—Like all the city lights snatched into a hazy net hanging
from tree tops.
I laugh to walk infinity footprints into the snow. Won’t
last long, but it is forever for now.
Over the hill, across the golf course is the lake. Or
it was. Seems everything is disguised in ice pearls tonight. The song plays—“I’d
do anything for you”[1]—and I wonder, “Would I?”
Careful not to step into water, wherever it went.
What if “anything” was digging underneath the
whiteness? Not so pure once further down, not so soft. Hit ground, hit soul.
And it is hard to admit faults.
Maybe I didn’t love as I should have. Where I couldn’t
believe how often no one said thank you, perhaps kind-doing would not have
expected it. Possible that I could say a lot of sorry’s and still not fully
repair. I might have made it about me when they cried, “help.” Might have not
done so well. Likely even, that I didn’t. Can I truth it, to better it? Can I
do that “anything”?
I walk home backwards to see footprints fresh.
The song finishes—“I did everything for you”—and I remember, “He did.”
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